Mestiso Manifesto #14

I may sound a like a broken record in this post as I’m processing a lot of things currently, so apologies if you’re hearing all the same stuff, but if you’re here for it I appreciate the ears, hearts and shoulders you’re lending me.

I’m starting pull myself back together and feel like I’m recovering from the burnout I’ve been experiencing for what seems like years. I haven’t been in my studio much other than to drop off materials I’ve been ordering, but I’m starting to get that strong urge to paint again which is a good indicator I’m improving. I believe my choice to take a break from showing any work for the remainder of the year was the correct one. The removal of the deadlines makes it easier for me to develop my work and experiment freely. I just aim to focus on rebuilding my connection to my practice, without needing to feel like it must be for someone or something, or to show it off. I’ve been writing down a lot of ideas and making a lot of sketches for things I want to try; it’s just a matter of putting them all into action.

I’ve had to reduce a lot of my extra activities to support my healing journey, as I tend to fill every spare minute of my day with something seemingly productive and drain the shit out of myself (something going on there to unpack). This has led to me ending my post-graduate studies in design and stop any freelancing work outside of my day job. I had to sit down with myself and have an honest think about the why of everything I’ve been doing, and redefine my priorities instead of trying to achieve a million different things at the same time like the perfectionist I am. I’m still not creatively fulfilled in my job as a designer, which is probably an indicator that I’m not working in the right industry, but for now that trade off means that I’m able to pour all that creative energy into my painting.

I have no idea why I find this embarrassing, but I’ve also been working on my health and fitness to help with the burnout recovery. I’ve been going to the gym for the past three weeks and while initially I found it super anxiety inducing and awkward, I’m starting to adjust to it. I have a personal trainer, because the last thing I need right now is to get stressed and anxious about whether I’m doing anything properly and getting fixated on planning workouts. I just go in, listen to my trainer, and leave without thinking much about it. Don’t worry I’m not going to start writing about my fitness journey and take thirst trap pictures in front of my artwork. I also promise this is the last you’ll hear of me being a gym whore.

Now as much as I love talking about my feelings and being vulnerable, it’s time to put my bad bitch mask back on and get into some art talk.

When it comes to projects, I’m currently involved in two that have deadlines which aren’t particularly stressful. One of them I’m keeping secret for now, but I promise I’ll share closer to launch, the other is my involvement in a group show Swatch this Space which is curated by a fellow who goes by the name of Mr Dimples. I don’t know him personally, but the art world is very small, and I was surprised to see how many of my art connections are connected to him. I felt very humbled to be invited to participate and I’m basically creating some artworks on some paint swatch cards, which is a very low-pressure way for me to do some art making considering my feeble art legs at the moment. I may even create an entire series of pieces beyond those in the show. We’ll see, no promises. The show is set to open in the new year at SOL Gallery.

It's currently the final week of Assembly which is a group show I have a work in over at Jacky Winter Gallery and also the first time I’ve shown in a commercial space (which is still exciting to me). The exhibition ends this Saturday, so if you haven’t had a chance to look at all the amazing art and need something to do over the weekend head over. I’ll probably be making one last visit this weekend before it closes.

As I’ve mentioned in my last few posts, I’m looking at developing my style and work further, so I’ve been looking at using some new materials and surfaces. I’ve been thinking of doing some works on paper as well as doing more drawing based pieces. Little known fact, I was really into drawing and paper-based work early in my art journey, and in art school my major was in drawing, which is what led me to Melbourne.

On the other side of this I’ve been doing some studies, exploration and experimentation in representational and realist types of work which are 100% not looking great at all! Hahah! It does make me laugh at how pissy my skills are in realistic representation, and I find it very restrictive. I don’t necessarily want to start creating realist type work, it’s more just an exploration of technique and doing something different to spark new ideas and processes, but who knows what will happen?

I’ve been messaging with different artists on IG over the last few months which have been giving me a lot of great advice when it comes to exploration, understanding my work and processes, and just general art life chat. It’s been helpful and inspirational and as much as using social media irks me as an artist, I do forget it’s a great place to connect to people and I appreciate that other artists are willing to take the time to answer my questions and just shoot the shit with me.