Mestiso Manifesto #20

If you’ve been watching my IG, you’ll have seen that I’ve officially returned to my studio. It took a few days for me to clean up about 14 months of dust and neglect. Getting stuff set up, cleaned and organised is always a therapeutic process for me and puts me in the right emotional and mental space that allows me to be focussed and productive.

I’ve got a substantial number of pieces on the go, some of which I’m picking back up from before my hiatus and there’s probably enough for a year’s worth of work. I think this will be my most ambitious and productive year as an artist, as I have a full schedule of plans and have very specific goals for myself over the next 12 – 18 months. I don’t know if the break has realigned my mindset or not, but I feel like I’ve stepped back into my creativity at a more potent level than I previously have. I’m looking forward to what’s going to unfold.

I have officially booked a solo show in August at SOL Gallery. I have a conceptual framework for the show and have been developing some ideas. I will share a bit more about this closer to the opening. I feel that I needed to book a solo as a focal point for the year, mainly as a way to get back into the studio. I often work better with deadlines, as I’m the kind of person who tends to drift aimlessly without them. I’m proud of myself in that I’ve been able to keep up the momentum of having an annual solo show (this year being my fourth solo), as well as consistently participate in a decent number of group shows each year. I take my art career very seriously and I wouldn’t work this hard if I didn’t. Even though a lot of last year was a write-off, I still did a lot of work and a good number of exhibitions.

I’m also participating in a group show, my first of the year, at SOL Gallery in May called FLESH. I’m working a tiny bit more figuratively, instead of focussing solely on abstract portraiture. So, I’m excited to debut this new evolution in my work.

This time last year, I was too intimidated to submit a proposal for an exhibition centred around Asian Heritage Week. If you’re familiar with the concepts of my work, you’ll know about the conflict I often have with my Asian heritage and being biracial. At the time I felt like an imposter. While I was browsing the social media accounts associated with the callout, that feeling of not being Asian enough was further aggravated. I scrolled through faces of people that looked nothing like me. I felt invalid and invisible, and that my voice and my existence weren’t welcome.

When the open call came around again this year, these feelings all resurfaced, of course! I knew this time I had to embrace this discomfort and apply for my own sake, regardless of acceptance. I think the most confronting part of the proposal was that I had to include a photo of myself. I do not look Asian, my name is not Asian and the only thing that confirms my heritage is my written claim of it.

Whether or not I get accepted into the exhibition, I am enough proud of myself for confronting those insecurities and claiming the part of myself other people often disregard or invalidate.

Now that I’ve returned to my art career, I want to thank everyone for the support and encouragement during my off period. While my health is still a work in progress, I know at some point I’ll get better. I also want to give a shout-out to those of you who consistently show up for me. Especially those who have been there for all my small wins and not just the big ones, those of you who always make the effort to regularly turn up at my shows, engage with my work in person and online, and show genuine interest in what I do. It really means a lot to me, and I appreciate your support immensely.