Mestiso Manifesto #6

A close friend of mine recently posted some vulnerable thoughts and feelings on topics like imposter syndrome and insecurity as a creative. We had an in-depth chat, and I shared a lot of my experiences and processes that help me deal with those roadblocks. It really made me reflect on my own journey as an artist and as a person, so I thought I might share some of those experiences. I might be having a bit of an old man ramble here, so I hope what I’m saying resonates with you.

I think imposter syndrome and insecurity are common experiences for creatives (mental health is a whole other story). I think back to my time throughout my art education. I really struggled during those six years to find my voice and position as an artist. I was making work that I didn’t really understand or feel connected to, which I think was an indicator of me not knowing or understanding myself properly at that time. I couldn’t even call myself an artist for the longest time.

Every day, I would walk onto campus feeling insecure and talentless, especially when I compared myself to people in my classes. Sometimes I wouldn’t feel intelligent enough; other times I would feel like my technique wasn’t good enough.

Art school was bloody hard; a lot of people make the assumption that it’s some kind of fun and frivolous course. The university I went to was really big on academia and conceptual frameworks rather than artistic technique. There were a number of times when I wanted to withdraw from the course and give up because I felt like I wasn’t good enough to be there.

Art can be a very vulnerable thing, particularly if you feel like it’s an extension or representation of yourself. This object or thing that you make is subject to opinion and criticism, which you can easily transfer from that object to your own sense of being. When you’re in art school, you’re dealing with this every day, and I did that for six years of my life. By the time I graduated, I was massively burnt out.

I’ve only picked up my art practice in the last four years, and while I won’t go into the tragic journey of a burnt-out art school graduate, I didn’t return to it looking to build a career. It’s only in the last year or two that I’ve taken that idea more seriously and allowed myself to believe that it’s possible.

I think that, as an artist using social media, you’re constantly measuring yourself up against other creatives who come up in your feed. It’s hard not to. I know I’ve personally had to block or unfollow certain artists because of the insecurity and frustration that arise due to what appears to be overnight rockstar-level success.

Another thing I’ve experienced is peers who I’ve studied with, who have gone on to build strong careers and do amazing things. It often makes me feel that I can’t catch up to them with the seven years of abandoned art practice I’ve accumulated. I often scold myself for that and accuse myself of not being committed enough.

These feelings also extend to artist friends, too. It can be a very confusing feeling at times, where you’re happy for them and want the best for their careers, but you can’t help but compare yourself and feel inadequate.

I think it’s a normal thing to compare yourself to others. The danger lies in the fine line you straddle between being inspired by what you’re experiencing and feeling completely shitty because of it. I don’t believe these feelings ever really go away; a lot of it comes from a lack of belief in yourself and what you’re doing. I would say it’s more about managing those feelings by being kinder and more supportive of yourself.

Things I keep in mind are:

• Don’t compare yourself to others. Every artist has a different journey, and when it comes to art careers, it can be super difficult to replicate the success of people you admire. Try to find inspiration in the work and careers you're seeing, instead of finding fault in yours. If you're struggling with it, consider removing certain accounts from your feed so you don't feel triggered by it.
  
  
• Focus on yourself and what you're doing. While it's good to use social media to network and engage with others, try not to be preoccupied and distracted by who and what you're seeing. It is essentially a curated and idealised collection of people's own realities. Don't lose sight of what you're trying to achieve.
  
  
• Lack of likes and follows don’t make you unsuccessful as an artist. Now, this is one that I struggle with at times, especially since I'm early in my career and feel like nobody knows I exist! Try not to chase the validation of others in what you do. It's a distraction.
  
  
• It’s not about being the best, but doing your best. Art is so subjective; there's no such thing as being the best artist. There are people creating work out there that I don't necessarily understand or enjoy, but they still have super successful careers. Your work is valid, it has value, and there's a space for you out there.
  
  
• Build a network of support. I cannot stress how much this has helped me. I personally think building a career as a creative isn't a solo endeavour. There have been so many times I've had friends and family help me with different aspects of my career, and I have no idea how I would've pulled certain things off without them. Have people in your life that are supportive of what you do. Meet other artists, make art friends, get involved more in your creative community. If you can't do this in person, do it online! Try to aim for a mix of online and in-person if you can.
  
  
• Be patient. Things tend to unfold in their own time. Be patient with yourself and follow the paths you need to follow. Skills, careers, and artwork all take time to build. Just keep chipping away as best you can. There's no race to the finish line, because there isn't one.

A lot of this is often easier said than done (especially when you throw mental health into the mix), but be accepting of yourself and where you are right now. It's okay to struggle, feel frustrated, and feel "less than," but remember that it's part of your journey as a creative and a person living their life. There could be people out there measuring themselves against you and feeling the same way!

Sometimes things are shitty, sometimes things are amazing. C'est la vie. The way you respond and process these feelings and situations can either grow or hinder your progress. Try your best to feed your growth, but it's okay if you falter. Do your best to get back up each time.